I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Randomize
