Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
Randomize
