Plan B is the new Plan A
You work out of a Hotel?
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
Randomize