Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Randomize
