I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Randomize
