He disabled his match.com account in front of me
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
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