I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
