Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
that's an acceptable place to lick
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
Randomize
