How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
Randomize
