I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
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