I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
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