i don't plan on having that self control this summer
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
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