You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
