I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize