So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
i think my tv is drunk
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
