i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
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