I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
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