Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
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