Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
of course. lets lasso hookers.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
Randomize
