LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
