:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize
