I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
Randomize
