Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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