I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
