I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
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