Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
Randomize
