Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
Randomize
