Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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