this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
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