I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
I could fuck to npr.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
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