Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
Randomize
