Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
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