Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
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