Jerry, you need to find god
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
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