ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
where am i from again
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
We need to rekindle our bromance
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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