You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
Randomize