xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
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