Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
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