Me too!
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
Randomize
