she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
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