Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
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