his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
Randomize
