Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
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