I need help removing her.
U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
