I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize
