I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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