I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
