**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
Randomize
