I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Randomize
