You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
Randomize
