Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
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