Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
I wish my penis had an off switch
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
Randomize
