Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
MIDGETS
????
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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