And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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