im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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