Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
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