the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
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