turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
