I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
everyone is single if you try hard enough
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
Randomize
