Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
Randomize
