Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
