dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
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