and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
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