Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
Sorry my hands just texted you
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
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