i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
Randomize
